Even apparent supermoms can’t do everything they are expected to do and if they can, it often comes at the expense of their wellbeing. It’s important to remember that no one is perfect, despite what they are showing to the world. However, seeing someone try to adhere to the supermom trope may make you feel like it does exist-just not in you. By forcing ourselves to meet an unattainable standard of perfection, we are isolating ourselves from others, from who we truly are, and from the amazing talents and traits we do have. We can’t all be the “perfect” parents or have the “perfect bodies,” but that doesn’t mean that what we are bringing to the table isn’t equally as important. The truth is, perfect doesn’t exist, especially in parenting. This is also reminiscent of the thin ideal-where women who do not adhere to the “ideal” body type are often viewed as less than. The idea that women need to reach supermom status perpetuates the idea that mothers need to be perfect or else they are failing those around them. With so many impractical expectations already placed on girls and women, the supermom trope is yet another ideal that we often can’t meet. The supermom trope is an unrealistic ideal that hurts women. Why the Idea of Supermom Is Harmful? Supermom Hurts Moms. While these aren’t necessarily bad traits, it’s nearly impossible for any one person to achieve this standard of living. She exercises to maintain the “ideal” body, eats well, and is always available to support her partner when needed. In one article, supermom is defined as a mother who wakes up “bright and early, cooks the kids a nutritious breakfast from scratch, drives them to school, commutes to the office, does errands over lunch, picks up the kids, does chores, and tucks them into bed.” In addition to being the perfect parent and employee, the supermom is also the perfect spouse. While the idea of a supermom can seem like something to strive for, it’s often an unrealistic ideal that comes with serious consequences. You’ll be able to navigate the challenges of becoming independent and won’t feel emotionally enmeshed with your mother.We’ve all heard the word “supermom,” which typically refers to a mother who can maintain all domestic duties alongside a full-time job or a mother that goes above and beyond in providing for herself and her family. Your strengths: Because you feel loved and understood, you can take risks, embrace change and initiate relationships without fear of rejection.Įmotional legacy: You will have the ability and insight to appreciate that other people, colleagues and family members have their own perspectives. According to Poulter, this ideal is only experienced by about 10 per cent of us. She isn’t necessarily perfect herself but whatever her emotional circumstances, she is committed to motherhood - regardless of other responsibilities outside the home. Emotionally balanced, she can see her children as individuals and help them achieve their own independence. The complete mother combines the best elements of the other four mother types. You find it difficult to trust your own feelings on any matter because you view your mother’s opinion as more important and powerful than your own. You are also loyal and supportive, able to appreciate other people’s needs and solve problems.Įmotional legacy: You doubt your own decision-making abilities. Your strengths: You are extremely good at supporting others, and are intuitive and insightful with people in all types of relationships. Their offspring will learn from an early age that their role is to make their mother shine. One of the most prevalent mothering styles, me-firsts are unable to view their children as separate individuals and tend to be self-absorbed and insecure. You can also be resentful and bitter in relationships, tending to feel unloved and under-appreciated. Because of your sense of motherlessness, you are often aware that you take the lead and assume the responsible role as an adult.Įmotional legacy: You may feel emotionally neglected with a fear of rejection. Your strengths: You understand the importance of boundaries between parents, children, colleagues and families. ‘In this situation, the emotional needs of the mother are so consuming, she has to rely on the child to meet them,’ says Poulter. Instead, both child and parent assume the role of emotional confidante and partner, leaving the child effectively motherless.
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